Trimming Hedges

Only once or twice have I slipped in this blog and directly posted about the/your (outside) world. More than not I have posted stuff about my own little world of failure. If you haven’t noticed by now, it’s called (Worst)Writing. I suppose the reason I do this is because, well, maybe I’m trying to raise the art of complaining. The thing is, every once-a-once something happens that digs so deep under my skin that I can explode.

I know, it’s a sign of weak character to blame others all the time for your problems. But I’m a firm believer that things are connected (you know, connected as in at the quantum level n’all). If things are connected then that means that much of what happens to someone is dependent on those connections. Having been reared and schooled in the pipe-dream known as the USA I absolutely understand the recent financial meltdown happening in the world. Of course I’m not going to get into any details of the meltdown here – there are plenty of other sources that can describe the whole mess much better.

The thing that gets under my skin is that so few people put any effort into grasping what is actually going on these days. Either that or people do get it and they are just a bunch of chicken-shits (to do anything about it). I mean, it’s probably always been like this, right? You know – the masses subjecting themselves to blissful ignorance because their credit card wasn’t rejected this week. It’s not as though this is the 21st century and for the first time in human history such a large portion of the population has access to so much information in order to judge a situation and yet …

OK. I expect too much by thinking that more people should understand the financial derivatives market. But how do so many people manage to get to Las Vegas every day? They can understand Vegas but not Wall Street? We live, swim, breath, eat, shit such inadequacy – and somehow we’re all kind of smart. (Yeah, right, compared to apes.) So you gotta ask yourself in this day and age of gluttony galore – where human beings have probably not reached the pinnacle of imitating mice running on one of them go-nowhere wheels – can it get any worse?

I’ll be the first to admit that I live off of other people. In fact, I am John Galt’s worst nightmare. The thing one should (re)consider (before judging me) is that my situation is not necessarily one of just choice. That is, I choose not to participate in this mess but that’s because there are so few choices. (See quote here from Henry David Thoreau.) Does that make any sense? I would rather wilt away and fail as a wannabe writer than work in a world of McJobs – no matter what John Galt proclaims.

The thing that John Galt (Ayn Rand) completely misses in his famous speech is to mention how “opportunity” can be turned into a commodity and hence used to quail the masses to dollar submission. I, for one, am more than willing to participate in this quagmire of gluttonous living but NOT if opportunity is owned by someone else.

So shove that up your ass John Galt!

Tip: go work in the “corporate” world and you’ll see that there is no opportunity left; there’s just the classes of college “elites” fighting over the non-existent left-overs of a fictionally extended, really grand, misconstrued thanks-giving-dinner.

The honest thing about my way of life is that I don’t it wish upon anyone else. As long as I keep myself clean and maintain a certain posture my girlfriend doesn’t mind, either. I guess it helps that I’m also pretty good at cleaning her house and cooking and walking her dog. So I suppose I kind of live in a world of luxury – less any personal material gains. If I am John Galt’s nightmare I am also Marx’s dream. Yes, indeed, everything is connected and I’m the only one to have the luck to live that connectedness.

No matter.

So many people in the deteriorating West have jobs and houses and cars and income and retirement plans and bank accounts – or they all have some form of welfare. They have all that because, for whatever reason, they thought it was their right to H A V E. They all like Christmas and children and toys and, and, and. The only thing those people will leave behind are their children. So much for the self perpetuation of self, eh. With so little history to look back upon, to avoid, to de-educate, why does it all repeat itself in the name of squeezing watermelons out of wombs?

It’s not the economy, stupid!

Take for example “Joe the Plumber“. Or what about Gayle Quinnell, the crazy lady at the John McCain rally? In my life-time (born early 60s) I’ve never seen so much human idiocy pushed to the forefront. These are indeed pretty scary times. The thing that gets under my skin is that the ignorance doesn’t stop with the so-called whatever classes – where it should probably stop. That is, the ignorance doesn’t stop with those that supposedly cannot understand (they can only talk). If the people mentioned here represent the worst of the worst then where is the – dare I proclaim – the best of the worst?

Ever hear of the likes of Andrew Lahde? Are you clueless to what a “hedge” is? As in hedge fund? Andrew Lahde recently quite his life as a hedge fund manager. He did so in grand style by writing a fairly sophisticated letter and publishing it on the web – and it has gotten quite a bit of attention. For your reading pleasure here a small outtake and here (pdf) the letter in full.

I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth,
might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing. Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.

Unlike the dips (Gale and Joe) mentioned above, Mr. Lahde is college educated and, I think, earned something like multiple-millions of dollars managing hedges (not the shrubbery). What gets under my skin here is how the boundaries of human ignorance merge – or connect – no matter what your class. For the first time in history it’s finally clear for everyone to see that the so-called elites of the world are obviously as stupid as the non-elites. But I guess I’m the only one to see it. Yes, for a brief moment in time, the classes have blended and become one. It’s one of those rare moments where the connectedness can be seen. George Bush (Yale), Andrew Lahde (State University), Gayle and Joe the Plumber (dip-shit talking eaters). You dig what I mean?

All connected!

I will give Mr. Lahde credit for this: he has beaten me to raising the art of complaining to new heights. A privileged man yet under-privileged when compared to those he complains about from Yale/Harvard/WallStreet, etc. (Remember, he went to State university and not a private one.) Of course he hides those complaints in greater-than-though rhetoric. Or have I incorrectly read between his lines? The cream of the crop are truly the ones that get it all and yet they are not worth spit – they are only worth the phlegm of a screaming tantrum and a really big fuck you on a shocking bank statement. Yet do we have any other choice but to let them rule this/your world?

Obviously Mr. Lahde is able to quit and then laugh at those left behind. Boy, do I really feel like a failure now. I guess it’s time to pray the bull … I mean God … I mean …

Rant on.

-tgs-

Frankfurt Book Fair ‘08, Literary Agent List

Here, here and here other posts on Frankfurt Book Fair.

Oh, I remember the first time I went to the Frankfurt Book Fair. I was full of so much writing energy while walking around the fair-grounds – and perhaps I was bit drunk on optimism then, as well. How times have changed, eh? Since the fair doesn’t really do anything for me anymore – today it’s nothing more than a Vanity Fair – at least I can say that I was part of the breaking of an old record. Saturday, 18.10.08, visitors to the infamous party of publishing greatness put together by z’Germans exceeded something like 78k. Let me tell you, I was in the middle of it all. Walking around so feverishly, sometimes the hallways connecting the various exhibitions felt like greenhouses. For those who cannot fathom it, let me try to put the size of this thing in (Tommi) perspective.

The Frankfurt Book Fair is so big that after three hours I wasn’t able to see a quarter of the exhibitions. Section 8.0 (see map below) is where USA and other (let’s call them) “Anglo” publishers resided. Would you believe that you had to go through a security check reminiscent of an airport to get in? It’s true – searching rucksacks n’all! You’d think that housing the American contingency of publishers something like two-miles away from the rest of the Fair would suffice in preventing THE TERRORISTS from threatening a bunch of bookworms.

Anywho.

It’s pretty neat to see the big guns (like Random House) placed next to obscure publishers specializing in stuff like Kabbala or Pugs (as in the dogs). Section 6.x, 5.x and 4.x (see below) housed other “International” publishers (no rucksacks were checked there). You can see the activities of publishers from Guam and Peru or Pakistan and Venezuela. The gem of it all though – at least for a wannabe writer like me – is section 6.2. The entire floor is dedicated to Literary Agents. Here the high-nosed aristocracy and holders of the key(s) of fate reside with all their wheeling and dealing magic. The problem is, you can only get into 6.2 by invitation. Unless you bribe your way in like I once did. Even if/when you buy the expensive ticket to get into the fair you can’t get into section 6.2 because it’s horded off by an encompassing red-carpet and high-brow walls.

Boo-fuckin’-who, eh!

Floor plan of 08 Frankfurt Book Fair

Pretty much everything in publishing is covered at this Fair – except for something that I tend to think is missing. I mean, there’s a Comics section, a Film Rights section, Illustration & Photography Centre and a very cool Antiquarian section where some books are on display that are like a gazillion years old. But don’t go there as an unpublished writer thinking that you might make a connection and finally get your book published.

The saddest thing about the Fair is that it has absolutely nothing to do with WRITING. As stated above, this Fair is about industry vanity. It is completely absent of THE STUFF. There is nothing – and I mean absolutely nothing! – at this Fair about writing. Sure, some writers are profiled – but that’s so that more of their already written books can be sold. I don’t know about you but that seems kind of odd. I mean, where do all the books come from? Would it be too much to have a section for stuff to help aspiring authors? Or what about having something like a registration of wannabe authors and then having a day where they can go and meet with those all-knowing deciders of fate: LITERARY AGENTS? Don’t lit agents need authors? No? OK, maybe they don’t. What do I really know?

Yeah – the biggest book fair in the world and it has nothing to do with where all those books come from. Vanity is a powerful thing, eh?

Anywho.

For those aspiring writers out there I’ve decided to provide a little help instead of just complaining about being a failed (i.e. rejected) writer. The pics below are scans from both sides of the LITERARY AGENT LIST from the ‘08 Fair. When one of of the pawns-of-the-oppressor was looking away (the dunces that work the front desk and check entry passes of section 6.2) I grabbed this list. And so this is my token to all other aspiring writers out there with a chip on their shoulder for lit agents. Big fuckin’ deal, eh. The only thing I ask in return is that you treat the agents with respect. Sure, we failed writers get turned down by these agents and they ruin our days regularly, but they are pawns as well (read my rant on agents here.) Do the research and find out what is required before contacting them or submitting your work. Searching their names and checking out their websites is all it takes.

LIST OF LITERARY AGENTS ATTENDING THE FRANKFURT BOOK FAIR, 2008.

Literary Agents 08 Frankfurt Book Fair, Page 1

Literary Agents 08 Frankfurt Book Fair, Page 2

Good luck,

-tgs-