Obsession, Novel Writing, Short Film(3)

The battle of ending my newest novel is near or far away. I think. At times I can almost feel it - this process - ending. Other times it’s as though it’s taken on a life of its own. I’m not (worst)writing “light at the end of (any) tunnel” ending or anything like that. It’s more like the Walrus getting off of me and air slowly seeping back into my lungs. Both mean doom. Either way, the agony continues.

Mostly preoccupied with editing, I’ve sinned and worked sporadically over the last few months. I do miss freely typing 2000 to 3000 words a day. Editing or no editing, at the least, I’m confident of being way over my publisher-submission comfort-zone of 300 pages. That’s kind of reassuring. Word count? Not sure - since most of it is manually typed. But I’ve got easily 120k or more. Remember, we’re still dealing with only a first manuscript here. Having no confidence and being a middle-aged loser hasn’t helped the (my) situation. Of course, I realize that (all the) rejection is nearing. Yet I push on. Why? Well, because that’s what I do. I (Worst)Write. Thank goodness, eh!

While battling with countless ideas in this creative process known to some as novel writing, I have happened across many a disturbing idea. Luckily I have managed to find a way to deal with all this creativity. Of course, some might call this procrastination. And I won’t argue with you. But while you are reassuring yourself of what you know, I grab for the nearest typewriter and dump as many of these disturbing thoughts as I can - onto paper. It’s kind of like purging. The real joke is, since working for more than a year on this new novel, I’ve managed to coincidentally write at least one other book. At first, I was thinking of calling it “Obsession”. But then I decided to call it “Talking To Myself.” Right now Talking To Myself is bundled together in a folder. It’s more than 100 pages - most of which have writing on both sides - and it’s basically an amalgamation of thoughts and ideas that sprang from writing something else.

Neat, eh?

I employ one or two sub-stories in my newest novel. These sub-stories play-out in the minds of two characters. One of those sub-stories has to do with consciousness confronting Time & Space, which you can read here. Another has to do with two mystical legends. One of the legends is about who is the biological father of Jesus. Ever heard of Tiberius Pantera?

Please. No emails from “believers”. I mean, come on, if you have a rational mind, can you then honestly say that “immaculate conception” is possible? If you can claim it’s possible, then it’s no wonder we live in a world of so many lies and liars.

Another sub-story has to do with the legendary first wife of Adam. That’s right. “Adam” of Adam & Eve. Since both of these are religious legends, then they kind of work together in the novel. They are reflective and parallel to the characters. But I won’t tell you more. And I’m not not telling you more because I’m afraid of giving anything away. I’m not not telling you more because, well, it’s embarrassing how bad I actually write novels. Remember, all of my previous novels have been rejected. You can read about that throughout this blog. Anywho. There’s more about Lilith in my previous post. I think these two legends compliment each other and fit well in the developing relationship between my protagonist and Gloria.

Oh, btw. I’ve decided on the title. I’m going to call this failed novel “Gloria’s Device”.

Anywho. While editing, fiddling, procrastinating and dreaming, I was able to dabble in the non-sense that appears in this third short and truly obnoxious film. For more excruciating coverage of me filming my habits, you can go here and here. It usually takes me just under fifteen minutes to fill these DIN A5 sheets with any disturbing thoughts. That’s kind of the deal I make with myself. I say: OK. You have another disturbing thought. Go to a new machine, get your paper, dump it. You have fifteen (sometimes twenty) minutes. If you can’t get it out of you by then, you must give it up. Then go back to editing your poorly written novel. Of course, I edit these films down to meet YouTube requirements. I suppose that makes them a tad bit less excruciating - for the viewer, anyway. Transcript is below.

BTW, the machine used is an early 1960’s Olivetti Lettera 32. This machine is the modernization of the Lettera 22, which I’ve posted a little bit about here. The Lettera 32 is one of the best manual, travel typewriters ever made. It’s manufactured using mostly aluminum. The cost of using that material alone - in today’s terms - is almost mind boggling. It’s beautifully machined and has all the typing functionality you could want - except spell check, of course. The color is ugly but that doesn’t matter - I’m willingly colored blind. Although I prefer the Lettera 22, the one I own is simply too old. This Lettera 32 might actually have quite a few years left in it - I got it in great condition. But… Ironically, while typing these disturbing thoughts, I had a bad day. Usually the Lettera 32 works flawlessly. Obviously it cannot work flawlessly when dumping some thoughts about a demoness. (But don’t ask me if I “believe” in that sort of thing.)

-tgs-