Potholes & Dimmers

Today I’m going to try and complain about the following and add to that a little bit of the nonsense I do on a daily basis that helps me maintain sanity.

I hate being an unwilling expatriate. I have no monetary means. I am forced to be best friends with disillusion…

Would you like more? Of course you would. Because that’s not all.

I can offer society nothing because I have no money which also means I have to forfeit family. I just sent out the divorce papers and at the same time learned that my soon-to-be ex-wife just lost her job (in the shitty welfare state of mediocrity German-ness). I am so worried and frightened about everything right now (because of how much I love my son) that I can literally feel my internal organs crumbling under the weight of (our) atmosphere – or the silliness of the politics and economics that have long since made the words of Thoreau come true…

The opportunities of living are diminished in proportion as what are called the ‘means’ are increased.

With that in mind, the only thing I can think about is grabbing a typewriter and writing. It’s the only way to forget about… having moved to Germany (what a shitty country), not being able to have a position in life because I couldn’t afford college, failing to get-along with others because of my personality traits, and last but certainly not least, life sucks because things are so bad that even if I wanted to I couldn’t subject myself to the smooth sailing of a subservient whatever career because I am the demon-beast that has long since learned to think for himself…

At least I can type (please no comments about the typos).

Of course, I know that I’m not the only one that’s desperate these days. I wish all well out there in lala-land who make their way through the mess. To make sure things don’t get too depressing, here a few excerpts from todays wondrous news.

This excerpt is about desperation. I guess. And you know what they say: crime doesn’t pay. Well, I say, nothing else does either. So we all get by the best way we can and try not to be too criminal.

NEW YORK AP – A state archivist was charged Monday with stealing hundreds of artifacts — documents representing “the heritage of all Americans,” according to the history buff who found some of them on eBay — to pay his household bills.

Daniel Lorello, 54, is accused of taking the rare items from the New York State Library, including Davy Crockett Almanacs, Currier and Ives lithographs and the 1865 railroad timetable for Abraham Lincoln’s funeral train. Authorities believe he hawked them for tens of thousands of dollars, using much of that to pay off his daughter’s credit card debt. (Source; I suspect the source link will eventually die, hence this cut & paste text.)

And here’s another article. This time about a bunch of dimwits trying to get by… the real good way.

FRANKFURT (Reuters) – German nudists will be able to start their holidays early by stripping off on the plane if they take up a new offer from an eastern German travel firm.

Travel agency OssiUrlaub.de said it would start taking bookings from Friday for a trial nudist day trip from the eastern German town of Erfurt to the popular Baltic Sea resort of Usedom, planned for July 5 and costing 499 euros ($735).

“It’s expensive, I know,” managing director Enrico Hess told Reuters by phone. “It’s because the plane’s very small. There’s no real reason why a flight in which one flies naked should be more expensive than any other.”

The 55 passengers will have to remain clothed until they board, and dress before disembarking… (Source; ditto)

Wow. What a wonderful world we all get to blog in, eh?

Rant (and complain) on.

-tgs-

The Non Shocked Doctrine

For more pseudo-book-reviewing go here and here. With that said, this too is almost a book review. Keep in mind, I’m just a bloke with nothing better to do during the day because I can’t finish yet another novel that will ultimately end up on my shelve(s) as rejected-novel-number-five.

Here’s a link to Naomi Klein’s website. Here’s a link to a short film produced by Naomi and directed by the guy who made the dystopian science fiction film “Children of Men”. Here’s the (my) standard wiki link about Naomi Klein.

If you haven’t discerned by now, I’ve just finished Naomi Klein’s … I read it in, like, x weeks. Seriously. It has a million and a half pages, although I might have counted a few twice. Here a few thoughts to ease you into my world of critique-intrigue:

• Wow.
• A Wonderful, meticulously researched book.
• A great new take on the issue and/or question of the result of twentieth century mixing of all-things-politics and all-things-economic (at least from the perspective of western thinking).
• Very wordy and sometimes repetitive but well structured and extremely informative.
• I wish the author would have put a bit more from her own head (or thoughts) into this book. The constant barrage of well-researched and footnoted/end-noted information was at times distracting – but in the end it’s what saved the book for me. To some, so much fact-checking might be distracting but at least you can find solace in the fact that this book is not an academic textbook. I enjoyed the footnotes a whole heck-of-a-lot.
• Although she is (or claims to be) a journalist, more often than not while reading this, I hoped she would/could turn into a philosopher or, perhaps, at the least, a political scientist with a tendency to über-dramatize. The book could use a lot more touchy-feely – both in things that draw tears and things that draw anger. (Not sure if that makes any sense because I did find myself tearing up a bit while reading the chapters about Thailand and New Orleans and even those chapters about Pinochet.)
• This book is missing the thing that “No Logo” had. “No Logo” by way of a very simple premise was a wonderfully creative way of questioning corporatism in the west and especially in my United Mistakes Of America (U.M. of A). To me, that simple premise was almost poetic in “No Logo”. Unfortunately, there’s nothing poetic about “The Shock Doctrine” and there is really no simple premise to this new book – even though Ms. Klein sells it with a great blurp/blurb at the cost of a what many people consider a great economist.
• On the other hand, if you want Naomi Klein fact after a fact after fact… about the ills of bad “capitalism” and bad politics then this is your book; it will give everything and nothing you need to know about life & death in a world of greed.

Groma Kolibri vs. Hermes Baby

If you’re here about the Hermes, here a somewhat newer post with the/my Hermes Baby in action.

Here and here for other posts on old fashioned writing devices. I’m a stickler for old typewriters. The only stipulation I have for collecting them is that with minimal elbow grease they actually work.

Today I’d like to (worst)write about two (relative) new devices in my collection of writing paraphernalia. Blogging on or about this stuff is not only a great way to spend a drunk Sunday afternoon but also a way to express myself about things that mean absolutely nothing… Which is better than running amok – I guess.

Waaaaay cooooool typewriters:

Groma Kolibri (Made in East Germany)

Hermes Baby (Swiss made)

I have several very old and small typewriters. The device that is my benchmark is the Olivetti Lettera 22, which you can read about in another post of mine here. Obviously, making typewriters small had its trade-offs. I think Olivetti was the only European maker to break any ground regarding both size and functionality in this arena. That is, Olivetti was able to make both small machines and machines that had functionality that was usually reserved for bigger desktop size machine. We’re talkin’ things like remote adjustable tabulation, multiple colored ribbon, multiple line spacing, etc. The typewriters pictured above and most typewriters of this size/category have only black ribbons and 1.0 or 1.5 line spacing. They are so-called “travel” typewriters. What makes them cool is that they could mass produce these things so small – and most of them work real well.

But before I continue, here a short differentiation between “travel” and “portable” in the world of yesteryear typewriters.

Portable Typewriters: This is/was a typewriter that could be easily packed into a carrying case and you could move it around, say, from desk to desk within an office or desk to storage space within a household. These devices are heavy and cumbersome and usually have a pretty large desktop footprint. Most of them work real well and are a blast to type on. My favorite portable is the Alpina which you can read about here. If I’m typing hundreds of pages, I use my Alpina portable or my Olympia SM5.

Travel Typewriters: These were the smallest mechanical machines made up until the early to mid 1980s when electric and battery driven machines and then computers easily replaced them. You could actually pack these machines into your suitcase or just carry one with you on a train or airplane. Perhaps they were the first “laptops”. They were usually limited in functionality due to their size (they only had black ribbons, no tabulation and dual line spacing) but if you take time to analyze these devices you’ll see that they employ some very interesting engineering. For a limited time or number of pages they are a blast to use. In fact, the Swiss made Hermes is so good, I use it for regular (worst)writing.

Hermes Baby.

My Hermes Baby was probably made in the late 40s. It has a QWERTY keyboard but also has the capacity to write German, French and Spanish text. (It has Umlaut, Cedilla, Tilda, etc.) I think this was/is sold as an “International Version” or something (I bought it from a German who said he bought it from a German dealer). The negative thing about this machine is that it has the vaguest keyboard I’ve ever used on a small typewriter. You never really feel the hammers hitting the platen – which might be a good thing on such a small device and obviously has something to do with it being relatively quiet. I also think the vagueness is due to such a small platen. Everything on this machine is precise and snappy. Typical Swiss manufacturing, I think. The carriage return is a bit stiff but when I’m going at it (typing fast, typing a lot) and do a carriage return the whole machine remains rather stable in it’s footprint. Which is real nice.

Both the Hermes and the previously mentioned Olivetti (my benchmark for small typewriters) are made of light-weight aluminum yet carriage returns on the Olivetti move the machine around on whatever surface it lies, whereas the Hermes remains still. A bit annoying with the Italian. A solution would be to get new rubber for for the feet of the Olivetti but have you ever tried finding things new for Italy? Whoopee.

I make a lot of typos on this Hermes because I’m used to QWERTZ keyboard but I only paid one Euro for the thing so I’m not going to complain. Probably typical of Swiss manufacturing at the time, this machine is so well built that I’m sure it will last forever – almost like the Princess 300 I own. The margin settings, type-guide, paper holder, etc., are all made with wonderful precision and eye for detail; even the platen rubber has remained elastic after all these years. Typing upper case is fun on this machine because the carriage pivots backwards which means you don’t have to force it upward with your little finger – which is nice if you type nine-finger like me. Brilliant design.

Groma Kolibri.

From the 1960s. When I first decided to acquire one of these I really wasn’t sure what to expect. I mean, come on, the thing is/was “Made in East Germany”. But, as far as typewriters go, it doesn’t matter if it’s east or west – the Germans make great typewriters. In fact, I think this is one of the best designed travel typewriters ever made. And… It’s gorgeous. The Kolibri is flatter than the Hermes but is also a bit wider. Even though the first one of these I bought arrived kaputt, I gladly put some elbow grease into it. After a few hours of cleaning and adjusting I got it to work. But it will always be worn out. So I set out and bought a second Kolibri but it was in worse shape than the first. At least I was able to steal some parts from the second purchase and use them to fix the first – which is pictured above. I’m still on the look out for one of these in great condition. Obviously this device does not have the same precision manufacturing as the Swiss Hermes.

Yet I like the Kolibri. It is one of the flattest typewriters ever made. The most surprising thing about this machine is that it types like a big machine. I think that’s due to the Kolibri employing a parallel type mechanism, large fonts (12pt?) and a relatively heavy platen. Parallel type mechanism doesn’t use keys that curve inward while being pushed down, as is the case with almost all typewriters. All the keys are connected to the same vertical pivot which then moves the hammers. This makes the keyboard a bit bulky but the designers simply spread that into the width of the machine. A negative on this machine is that carriage shift is very heavy (carriage shifting does not employ a parallel mechanism). I miss a lot of capitalization on this machine because of the heavy carriage. I love the direct connection between the keys, hammers and the platen, though. Hope to get one in better condition soon.

The Groma Kolibri is in no way built as well as the Hermes – that’s obvious since I have two Groma’s and both are in pretty bad shape. But the Hermes types too much like a Fisher-price toy. But hey, ain’t toying around what makes all this (worst)writing worthwhile…?

Maybe not.

-tgs-